Wow! You really captured what so many of us are going through. My Kristin, Michelle, and Rick are your Scott. They can't see me and I can no longer see them. All because of an ideology that managed to erase core principles from their life that I falsely assumed would always underpin our shared bond. This current reality has left me feeling a form of grief that I am unsure how to move through. But you are right—reading this made me feel less alone. Thank you for sharing this powerful story at such a critical time. 🥹🫶
I’m sorry you have three people in your life you just can’t connect with anymore. That’s hard, and feels like there’s no simple answer, or even any answer at all. The gap feels too wide. Fear and mistrust continues to widen it. The administration, social media, and media in general continue to feed the fear and mistrust, so it continues to grow and the gap widens.
The one hope I see is that the tides appear to be slowly turning. Conservatives are breaking ranks. Pundits are walking back their fervent support. It’s taken far too long, but the cracks are now impossible not to notice, even for those who tried to pretend they weren’t there.
One small comfort is that yes, we’re not alone in this. And I believe, in time, the wounds will begin to heal.
I believe that too. I'm the youngest of four and the only one who didn't get sucked into the polarized echo chamber online. I chalk it up to losing my best friend to suicide back in 2016 and getting off of social media shortly after. Even had I stayed on, I was so deep in grief that I dont think political polarization could have reached me. It was surreal to realize how far right they had drifted during those painful years of being broken open by my grief. I imagine having multiracial kids also helped play a role in my not getting sucked into their ideology, especially with one of them in the LGBTQ+ community. That type of fear and hate has no room in my heart, and I hope one day it has none in theirs also. Because I miss them. I miss the version of them that still knew how to love. I hope that they find that part of themselves again, because I would welcome them back with open arms if they did. 🥹
I'm so deeply sorry. That's a lot of grief piling on.
I would welcome my brother back, too. But honestly, I think we might be too deeply divided. He's not going to change the core of who he's become.
My youngest brother (the baby of the family, like you) also stayed mostly out of the fray. He leans more conservative, but we can have a healthy debate. We can even agree on some things.
The core of who my siblings have become is also unlikely to change, so I feel you on that. I think the divide might be too far to bridge at this point for them too. But... if they were to do some honest soul-searching and grow their self-awareness and understanding and move away from their rigidity towards curiosity, we might have a chance to salvage something. But like you pointed out, that is not likely for my siblings either.
Being conservative is not the same as being a fascist, so that is probably why we can have healthy debates with conservatives. That option flies out the window when ideology cements over nuance and curiosity. Which is what happened to my siblings. They let fear take the wheel and pushed love all the way out. And honestly can't see it. It is so sad.😞
So well said. And you're right; being conservative and being fascist are two very different things. I love what you said: ideology cements over nuance and curiosity. Those are two qualities many seem to be lacking now. On both sides of the political fence. We're all screaming from opposite sides of the void instead of trying to build a bridge.
Exactly. The only thing I know how to do is learn to control what I can, which extends to the ends of my fingertips and toes. I plan to keep doing the hard work of healing my inner wounds and growing beyond my current limitations, and really allowing these layers of grief to break me open. Because I can't stop imagining a world where abuse isn't the status quo and cruelty isn't the norm. And I know that the change I want to see has to start within me. Doing my best to become a lighthouse shining brightly from the edge of a violent and chaotic sea... 😏🫶
Wow! You really captured what so many of us are going through. My Kristin, Michelle, and Rick are your Scott. They can't see me and I can no longer see them. All because of an ideology that managed to erase core principles from their life that I falsely assumed would always underpin our shared bond. This current reality has left me feeling a form of grief that I am unsure how to move through. But you are right—reading this made me feel less alone. Thank you for sharing this powerful story at such a critical time. 🥹🫶
I’m sorry you have three people in your life you just can’t connect with anymore. That’s hard, and feels like there’s no simple answer, or even any answer at all. The gap feels too wide. Fear and mistrust continues to widen it. The administration, social media, and media in general continue to feed the fear and mistrust, so it continues to grow and the gap widens.
The one hope I see is that the tides appear to be slowly turning. Conservatives are breaking ranks. Pundits are walking back their fervent support. It’s taken far too long, but the cracks are now impossible not to notice, even for those who tried to pretend they weren’t there.
One small comfort is that yes, we’re not alone in this. And I believe, in time, the wounds will begin to heal.
I believe that too. I'm the youngest of four and the only one who didn't get sucked into the polarized echo chamber online. I chalk it up to losing my best friend to suicide back in 2016 and getting off of social media shortly after. Even had I stayed on, I was so deep in grief that I dont think political polarization could have reached me. It was surreal to realize how far right they had drifted during those painful years of being broken open by my grief. I imagine having multiracial kids also helped play a role in my not getting sucked into their ideology, especially with one of them in the LGBTQ+ community. That type of fear and hate has no room in my heart, and I hope one day it has none in theirs also. Because I miss them. I miss the version of them that still knew how to love. I hope that they find that part of themselves again, because I would welcome them back with open arms if they did. 🥹
I'm so deeply sorry. That's a lot of grief piling on.
I would welcome my brother back, too. But honestly, I think we might be too deeply divided. He's not going to change the core of who he's become.
My youngest brother (the baby of the family, like you) also stayed mostly out of the fray. He leans more conservative, but we can have a healthy debate. We can even agree on some things.
The core of who my siblings have become is also unlikely to change, so I feel you on that. I think the divide might be too far to bridge at this point for them too. But... if they were to do some honest soul-searching and grow their self-awareness and understanding and move away from their rigidity towards curiosity, we might have a chance to salvage something. But like you pointed out, that is not likely for my siblings either.
Being conservative is not the same as being a fascist, so that is probably why we can have healthy debates with conservatives. That option flies out the window when ideology cements over nuance and curiosity. Which is what happened to my siblings. They let fear take the wheel and pushed love all the way out. And honestly can't see it. It is so sad.😞
So well said. And you're right; being conservative and being fascist are two very different things. I love what you said: ideology cements over nuance and curiosity. Those are two qualities many seem to be lacking now. On both sides of the political fence. We're all screaming from opposite sides of the void instead of trying to build a bridge.
Exactly. The only thing I know how to do is learn to control what I can, which extends to the ends of my fingertips and toes. I plan to keep doing the hard work of healing my inner wounds and growing beyond my current limitations, and really allowing these layers of grief to break me open. Because I can't stop imagining a world where abuse isn't the status quo and cruelty isn't the norm. And I know that the change I want to see has to start within me. Doing my best to become a lighthouse shining brightly from the edge of a violent and chaotic sea... 😏🫶